Anxiety

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Tonight the picture I posted is one that I am currently working on. The movie this character is from was one that took me a minuet to watch. “Little Groot” made me so happy at the end of the movie. The reason I have titled this post “Anxiety,” is because that’s exactly what happened when I went to see the movie, “The guardian of the galaxies.”

It was the 2nd week it was out. My boyfriend really wanted to go watch it. I was all up for it. Now to step back for a second, if you have never experienced anxiety you may not understand this post. As we were driving to the theatre I started to slightly panic. We were going during a time where it was more crowded then normal. I do not like to be in places where there is a lot of people. Probably why I hate shopping lol. Any way, I tried to talk myself out of it because my boyfriend has never witnessed me going through a panic attack.

I always used him as a safe haven. Felt like because he has never seen me go through one, to save myself the embarrassment, I won’t have one.

We started walking towards the theater. Bought the tickets previously through fandango. There was no turning back. We get our snacks and proceeded to locate our seats. We sit down. Everything is fine. I start to feel the attack coming. My hands getting sweaty. I excuse myself during the previews to go to the restroom. As I’m washing my hands I start to panic because I realized I didn’t bring my phone with me. “What if something happens?” “How will I reach him?” All these thoughts just started going thru my mind. I panicked. Couldn’t breath. Thought I could run to him but I became dizzy. Finally I saw this woman who was welcoming And I asked for her help. Once I had seen her and requested her help, I felt the anxiety go away. She walked me to my boyfriend. I thanked her and sat down. At this time I was shaking and told my boyfriend I wasn’t feeling good.

I actually ended up admitting that I was having an anxiety attack. He asked me if we wanted to leave before the movie started, but I declined because I wanted to try to overcome this obstacle. After 5 mins of the movie starting. I asked to leave. We drove home and I struggled to explain what I was going thru.

After all that, my boyfriend poked fun at me for a while every time that movie came up. I told him he could go see it with out me because I needed to try to figure out what my issues were. For Christmas my aunt bought the movie for him. We FINALLY watched it. And I loved it!

For those who experience anxiety, I’m sorry you have to go thru that. Hopefully we will find the light at the end of the tunnel. Goodnight everyone

Many lights!

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So my sister in law was kind enough to take this picture so I could post it on my site. This is only a quarter of what the farm looks like. Looking at this picture is only a portion of the walkway/driveway. I wish I could get more pictures but this will do for now. Sorry I have been MIA for a while. This holiday has me running around to other homes to say hi. I’ll be back tomorrow. Have a drawing and story to share 🙂

The Day after Christmas

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Good Morning/evening everyone. I had the best day yesterday! I love watching everyone open the gifts I bought them, and to see that I did good with the smiles of satisfaction that came my way. It was cold here in California. A lot colder than it has been in a while here.

My love and I spent the day at his grandma’s farm yesterday. I tried to get pictures but I started having trouble with my phone and it wouldn’t charge so I couldn’t take any pictures once we got there :(.

My morning started with waking up next to my love, and in between us were our two cats, Peaches and Luigi. For me, it 1225140744awas the perfect way to start my morning,

We stayed in bed petting them and listening to their motor sounding purrs. It was the sweetest thing ever. Normally they sleep on each side of my boyfriend. Luigi is the one with the full grey helmet and Peaches is the one with only half the grey helmet. we seriously got lucky when we found them. We have had them for a year.

After we laid in bed for a while I brought in my gift for him. I got him some wrangler Jeans and two shirts. My boyfriend isn’t really big on gifts, which is fine, but it makes it difficult when you want to do something special for him. He got me exactly what I want1224142048aed!! I plugged it in right away and started printing out my artwork.

I wanted to see what it came out like. I printed from my phone, I scanned in some pictures, I even printed from my laptop. It was funny.

After all that we left to go to his grandma’s and spent time with his family. It was wonderful, and great company. I got a sweatshirt that I have also been eyeballing. It has the breast Cancer ribbon on the front and back. So much fun.

Any who, I started working on a new drawing. No1226140840t really sure where I am going w/ it but this is what I have so far.  I did this part in about 20 mins last night while we were watching the guardian of the galaxies. I want to do this one digitally, as far as coloring it in. I haven’t touched my tablet in a few weeks for drawing and I kind of miss it.

Hope you all have a wonderful day today!!

I’m ready!

Merry Christmas eve everyone! thought I was done Christmas shopping, but it seems I missed a few people. I don’t know what happened! Lol, I counted everyone. I kind of feel like the different stores I went to failed to put my items in the bag, but to no avail I wasn’t charged for the items I THOUGHT I purchased. Lol, so I failed. But! I made up for it as I pushed myself passed the many people doing their last minuet Christmas shopping. And finally I am ready! Ready for tomorrow and the long day ahead of med :). Really looking forward to the stories and walking down memory lane.

I was able to finish the drawing I started on this past weekend. I love it! There are a few thinIMG_20141224_203658gs I struggled with. The portion’s and trying to get the shading right. This picture doesn’t really give the coloring justice.The lighting is slightly off, but it is the best I can do for now.

I’ve never really done a drawing like this before. I wanted her to be fierce, strong and confident. I do believe that I pulled that off. I couldn’t decide what hair color to give her. Did I want it to be natural color’s, or did I want to go a little crazier and bright? Well I chose to go on the brighter, crazier side. Plus I had pink hair once upon a time and I can’t even begin to explain how different I felt with pink hair. I loved it!

I went out of my comfort zone a bit with this picture. I usually draw my girls with clothes. There is nothing wrong with nudity, and I am not afraid of that. I just try to be aware of the people who will see my art, especially my nieces and nephew who love my work. I know I can filter then when showing my sketch book, but some of them of social media and can see what I post. I guess the best way I can describe the feeling is like watching a sex scene with your parents. Awkward! lol. I have this one family member (who shall remain a secrete ;)) and almost every drawing I do, I get asked what I was thinking when I drew it? And what made me want to do it? Not that I don’t love the questions, but I feel this would be a little more difficult to explain.

Any who, it is about 10:15 here in California and as much as I would love to stay awake and write more, I am beyond spent. Finally home, after being away for the past 4 days, and I worked at 5am. Until tomorrow my sweet followers.

I hope that everyone is having a wonderful Christmas/holidays today (for those who are already celebrating).

The Jolly Blogger award!

I was so excited when I received Notice that I was nominated for the Jolly Blogger award! How cool! I was nominated by coffeennotes and have found a great appreciation for her blogs. If you haven’t stopped by to see her page I recommend that you do 🙂 at least say Hello or read some things you might find interest in.

The rules are: I must answer the twelve questions that have been left for me,create twelve new questions, and nominate ten lovely bloggers! (this might be hard as I am new to the blogging world but I will try!) So, let’s get started:

What is on your Christmas Wish list?

Currently I have been setting my sites on a printer/scanner/copier in one. I also have been wanting a new comforter, and a bottle to hold vegetable oil (lol). Honestly all these items I can manage to purchase myself, but if anyone must know, those are the items I am wanting.

What would be the perfect Christmas?

I would love if I could sleep in, wake up slowly, stay in my pajama’s all day and watch all the Christmas movies ever made. I have no children yet so I would love to take advantage of peace and quiet.

What’s your favorite winter make-up look?

This is an interesting question because, I usually match my makeup to what I am wearing. If I am wearing dark clothes, then I tend to where my eye make-up on the darker side. If I wear light colors, I tend to stick to the neutral tones. I also have no idea what I will be wearing yet. Depends if the sun is out or not lol.

Do you believe in Santa?

I did when I was younger. Boy did my Dad and Grandma really play it up! One year my dad put a “reindeer” foot print on a letter, and we honestly thought it was for real. Later as the years went on he confessed at dinner one time that it was a stamp he found and he had one of his lady friends write the letter from santa. hahaha. Now that I am older, I don’t believe there is a guy that rides around the world dropping off gifts to kids everywhere for one day. I mean the idea is pretty neat, but highly unlikely. I do believe in the Christmas magic however, so I do like to keep it exciting for my nieces, and nephew.

What is your favorite Christmas food or drink?

I love Eggnog, especially the adult version w/ brandy in it! 😉

Will you be traveling for Christmas, if so where?

I will be going to my boyfriends family this year. It is about an hour away, but it is in a beautiful ghost town (if that’s even possible). A little island in California that use to be a navy base many years ago. My Boyfriends grandmother lives on a farm and she decorates her farm ever year! and I mean the entire farm! (I will post a blog the day after Christmas w/ pictures to see, so make sure you come back and check them out!) There are about 94 blow up characters.

 Would you prefer Christmas with or without snow?

I have never seen snow… 😦 I know, but I haven’t. I would prefer snow, it would be quite the Christmas for me.

Do you like eggnog?

Yes!

What is your favorite winter clothing?

I love sweatshirts, and pajama bottoms. Nothing better than getting into bed and feeling all warm and snuggly.

Do you leave Santa cookies, if so who eats them?

Not any more. 1) I don’t have a fireplace in my apartment, and 2) I don’t have any kids that would reap the benefits of that.

What was the best gift you ever received?

This is going to make you laugh (I hope)! I had just moved out for the first time and when Christmas came my aunt bought me a vacuum cleaner! I know that might seem silly to some people, but a the time I couldn’t really afford to go out and buy things that I didn’t already have. I loved it so much I cried.

What is your favorite Christmas memory?

I would have to say my favorite memory is when my sister came in and woke me up. It was around 6:30am, my dad just got home from work (check out my blog titles “Amazing Dad” for more details) and we were trying to be quiet. As we were sneaking down the hallway you hear my dad say “Already? But Santa just left”. of course we giggled and responded with begging and pleading. My dad eventually obliged as he too started to giggle as we walked down the hall. Once we reach the family room we saw our stockings were overfilled with candy, bubbles, tapes (OMG remember those!?), scratchers, a watch, and I believe some fruit at the very bottom. Then we saw 2 Bicycles. One for me and one for my sister. There were a few other presents around the tree, but we were so happy with what we already had. We didn’t even get dressed, we just threw on some shoes, put our new tapes in our walkman’s and hopped on our bikes. We road for 2.5 hours around our court. So much Fun!

The blogs I wish to nominate for the Jolly Blogger Award are: ( this is the hard part for me)

jasminekeclipse

vrakesh83

knowthesphere

facetioussoup

cliffsofdover123

cristian mihai

vishnu v menon

Can’t wait to read everyone’s answer. Please remember to tag me in it 🙂 Thank you again Coffennotes for nominating me. I loved reading your answers 🙂 I hope you have a wonderful Holiday no matter what you are doing or what you celebrate! you are honestly one of my first “friends” on this site. I appreciate your support!

Secret Santa

facebook_1419311984345So yesterday at work we did our yearly “Secret Santa” and my co-worker gave the best gift ever! I was super surprised by what I received. I have most of this stuff already, but if your like me, you can never have to much “art stuff”. I just loved how this person took the time to really listen to what I always talk about that they went out of there way to pick up a bunch of different things. I really felt their support in what I am trying to accomplish. 

There was an eraser shield that I have no idea what it does, or it’s purpose. I will be researching this later. I felt silly because I thought I knew about almost everything out there in the art world. The book on the top left is a book on how to create a graphic novel, aka comic book. I haven’t looked at everything inside of it, but I did open it a little and peeked at some of the pages. It was really neat. 

I can’t lie though, I am ready for this Christmas to be over. I feel like I have been running around like a chicken with my head cut off. I finished all my shopping as of this past Saturday, got all my Christmas cards passed out, and got the food items ready to go for Christmas day. I have a lot of traveling to do on that day. The joy’s of having parents that are separated, and a boyfriends who’s family is all over. 

Leave a comment below and let me know what your holidays look like? 🙂

Cards, Cards, and More cards

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Good Morning everyone! Or evening ( depending on where you are ). Woke up this morning, made some coffee and sat down to work on my Christmas cards for everyone. I had 20 already done and needed 30 more. I just finished my last one!

Every year I tell myself, no more cards! But then every year after that I buy more cards and there are typically more people added to the list. I am also not the type of person that just writes a name and signs mine. I always have to include something in it from the year, you know personalize it. I do that because I don’t want people to feel like I am doing this because I have to. I want my receivers to know that I am doing it because I genuinely want to. I might go a little crazy as well, and decorate the envelope….Just maybe, 😉

4 more days till Christmas! 3 more working days and then it’s a 4 day weekend.